Building, enforcing, and maintaining boundaries is imperative for survivors of domestic, family, and sexual violence as they embark on the path of healing and reclaiming their sense of self. Let’s explore five essential steps.
Self-Reflection and Identification: Begin by engaging in self-reflection to understand your needs, comfort levels, and triggers. Identify the areas where you feel particularly vulnerable or where you need additional protection. This self-awareness forms the cornerstone for setting meaningful boundaries.
Clear Communication: Communicate your boundaries clearly and decisively. Use “I” statements to express your needs and limits. For example, say, “I need space when I feel overwhelmed” or “I am not comfortable discussing certain topics.” Effective communication is a powerful tool in ensuring that others understand and respect your limits.
Build a Support System: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and/or professionals who understand the importance of boundaries. Share your journey with those you trust and let them know how they can support you in maintaining your boundaries. Having a strong support system can provide both emotional and practical assistance. Adamas Nexus knows that you need a suite of support tools and services, and we can be one of those (along with psychologists, mental health plans, other support groups, etc)
Establish Safety Strategies: Develop safety strategies for different situations. This might include having a safe place to go, a list of people to call in an emergency, or strategies for managing stress and anxiety. By proactively planning for potential challenges, you empower yourself to navigate difficult situations while maintaining your boundaries.
Professional Guidance and Counselling: Seek the assistance of professionals experienced in trauma and abuse recovery. Therapists, counsellors, or support groups specialising in domestic, family and sexual violence can provide valuable insights, coping mechanisms, and fit-for-purpose strategies for boundary-setting. Professional guidance is instrumental in navigating the complexities of healing. Before starting our groups, Adamas Nexus sought input from Psychologists to ensure we would be able to be effective and offer the right kind of support at the right time.
It’s important to recognise that the journey of building and maintaining boundaries is a ongoing process. Be patient and gentle with yourself and recognise the progress you make along the way. Regularly reevaluate your boundaries as you evolve and grow in your healing journey, adapting them to reflect your changing needs and circumstances. Remember, your boundaries are an expression of self-respect and a vital component of reclaiming control over your life.
Setting boundaries isn’t about building walls; it’s about defining your space and protecting your well-being. Remember, your comfort zone is your power zone.
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Find Your Tribe So You Can Thrive – Tedx Talk with Kristine Hewett
Many people have had a traumatic incident in their lives, and we now all have the collective trauma of COVID. Why is there an expectation that we need to ‘get over it’ or ‘move on from it’? Lived experiences may well have happened in our past, but they have ongoing impact on our now and our future. Kristine wants to help people to do more than survive and to in fact thrive by finding their people or tribe.
