Self-talk, the internal dialogue we have with ourselves, plays a significant role in shaping our perceptions, emotions, and behaviours. For survivors of domestic, family, and sexual violence, self-talk can be a powerful tool for healing and recovery. The trauma endured often leaves deep emotional scars, including feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and self-doubt. Transforming negative self-talk into positive affirmations is crucial for rebuilding self-esteem and fostering resilience.
Positive self-talk is important because it helps rebuild self-esteem, enhances mental health, empowers personal growth, improves relationships, and fosters relationships.
- Survivors frequently internalise the negative messages and abuse they have experienced, leading to a damaged sense of self-worth. Positive self-talk helps to counteract these harmful beliefs by reinforcing their inherent value and dignity.
- Negative self-talk can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety, common among survivors. Shifting to positive self-talk can significantly improve mental health by reducing stress and fostering a more optimistic outlook on life.
- Positive self-talk encourages survivors to set and achieve personal goals, embrace new opportunities, and cultivate a sense of control over their lives. It empowers them to move forward, despite the trauma they have faced.
- How we talk to ourselves affects how we interact with others. Positive self-talk can enhance interpersonal relationships by promoting self-respect and healthy boundaries, which are essential for survivors rebuilding their social networks.
Survivors often face ongoing challenges as they recover. Positive self-talk builds resilience by helping them cope with setbacks and view themselves as capable and strong, rather than as victims.
Top 5 Tips for Moving from Negative to Positive Self-Talk!
- Recognise and Challenge Negative Thoughts. The first step is awareness. Pay attention to your internal dialogue and identify negative thoughts. Once identified, challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are truly based on facts or if they are distortions created by past trauma. Replace them with more realistic and positive statements. A way to defuse negative thoughts can be to hear them with a silly voice (e.g. helium, Donald Duck, etc) which can allow us to disconnect from them.
- Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your pain without judgement and remind yourself that it is okay to feel what you are feeling. You matter too.
- Use Positive Affirmations. Create a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. Statements like “I am worthy of love and respect,” “I am strong and resilient,” and “I am deserving of happiness” can be powerful tools. Repeat these affirmations daily, especially during moments of self-doubt. Write them on a sticky note and place them on your bathroom mirror, or where you can see them every day.
- Visualise Success. Visualisation can be a powerful technique. Imagine yourself overcoming challenges, achieving your goals, and being happy. This positive imagery can help reinforce a positive mindset and encourage positive self-talk.
- Seek Support. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you. Whether through friends, family, support groups, or professional therapy, having a supportive network can help reinforce positive self-talk and provide validation and encouragement. Adamas Nexus, is a post-crisis support group for women survivors of domestic, family, and sexual violence and runs online meetings that enable any survivors, including those in regional and rural communities to join meetings Australia-wide.
Positive self-talk is essential for the healing and recovery of survivors of domestic, family, and sexual violence. By rebuilding self-esteem, enhancing mental health, empowering personal growth, improving relationships, and fostering resilience, positive self-talk can significantly impact a survivor’s journey towards healing. Implementing strategies such as recognising and challenging negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, using positive affirmations, visualising success, and seeking support can help transform negative self-talk into a powerful tool for recovery and empowerment.
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Find Your Tribe So You Can Thrive – Tedx Talk with Kristine Hewett
Many people have had a traumatic incident in their lives, and we now all have the collective trauma of COVID. Why is there an expectation that we need to ‘get over it’ or ‘move on from it’? Lived experiences may well have happened in our past, but they have ongoing impact on our now and our future. Kristine wants to help people to do more than survive and to in fact thrive by finding their people or tribe.
